tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6034944370161032319.post6526957376223494188..comments2023-05-06T05:29:31.469-04:00Comments on The Knotted Thicket: My query is drowning in suckK.C. Shawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12467201304235217944noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6034944370161032319.post-28621481669098431112009-05-07T16:58:00.000-04:002009-05-07T16:58:00.000-04:00I'm not the Queen of Queries! I'm the NINJA. ;)I'm not the Queen of Queries! I'm the NINJA. ;)Carrie Harrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14893023777471521703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6034944370161032319.post-66461312451665631862009-05-07T10:16:00.000-04:002009-05-07T10:16:00.000-04:00Thanks, guys, that's already helping. I was tryin...Thanks, guys, that's already helping. I was trying to keep the emphasis away from vampires and healing, but obviously I'm going to have to go back to those two things since they're the core of the plot.<br /><br />The half-breed rights/troll rights issues come up in the next book and not so much in this one. On the other hand, it is important to the plot and Ana is definitely an underdog.<br /><br />Hmm. I have an idea for what to bring out in the query. I'll go work on it.K.C. Shawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12467201304235217944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6034944370161032319.post-69226576157657736482009-05-07T09:38:00.000-04:002009-05-07T09:38:00.000-04:00I think maybe you mention too many people in the q...I think maybe you mention too many people in the query - especially the last line (maybe you could change it to friends?). I also agree with what Aaron said.Cate Gardnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05634397106201021055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6034944370161032319.post-28639687651248503052009-05-06T23:47:00.000-04:002009-05-06T23:47:00.000-04:00I think Aaron has the right of it. Maybe you need ...I think Aaron has the right of it. Maybe you need to list out all the underlying themes you're trying to work with and put them alongside major turning points. Include the central question and add water as desired.<br /><br />Too be honest, I find it difficult to be helpful with queries unless I've read the work.<br /><br />Maybe the Queen of queries will stop by - Carrie??BThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15170193722932454605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6034944370161032319.post-71680829913036693972009-05-06T21:24:00.000-04:002009-05-06T21:24:00.000-04:00I'm not sure I would be much help, but I feel the ...I'm not sure I would be much help, but I feel the query misses all the racism / classism inherent in the book (based on your previous post). <br /><br />I'm quoting your post: "Ana (female!) is a half-breed elf in a society that considers half-breeds second-class citizens--but even half-breeds have things good compared to trolls..."<br /><br />I want to see this worked into the query. That, to me, sings out "hook". <br /><br />Everyone loves an underdog. Prop up Ana as the biggest half-elf underdog this side of, well, New Zealand. ;)<br /><br />Good luck.Aaron Polsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15173267932358617304noreply@blogger.com