I opened up the Bell-Man document earlier and was finally starting to read over what I'd written the night before, when my cat Vincent started making mighty-hunter mews from the doorway.
Vincent is not a mighty hunter. All he knows about hunting is what Angel taught him--Angel was a damn fine mouser. I once saw Vincent pick up a mouse by its hind leg, and of course he got bitten. He looked offended at the mouse's audacity.
So anyway, Vincent tends to make mighty-hunter noises when he's caught anything. Once he caught a marshmallow I'd dropped on the kitchen floor and paraded it around the house proudly, which was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. So when I looked up and saw what looked like the curved edge of a ponytail holder sticking out of his mouth, I just smiled and told him what a good hunter he was.
Then I realized he didn't have a ponytail holder. He had a lizard.
It was one of those little fence skinks, I believe, the kind that shoot around like lightning and eat bugs. How it got into the house I do not know, and how Vincent caught it I simply can't imagine, unless it was trapped in the house and half-starved. I tried to get it away from Vincent without making Vincent bite down harder--ew ew ew--and it slithered away and disappeared. I mean, seriously, neither Vincent nor I saw it go. I know I didn't--and I was checking my pants cuffs thinking maybe it shot up one to hide--and I know Vincent didn't because he was literally checking his own paws and looking underneath him to see where it had gone.
I finally found the skink hiding under the bottom of a nearby curtain, which is long and drapes on the floor. I took Vincent outside for a few minutes so he'd forget about the skink--he has a memory about four seconds long--and when I brought him inside, I put a few catfood kibbles on a saucer, cut them into tiny pieces, put a little water on them, and took the saucer upstairs. Because maybe skinks will eat wet pieces of catfood, that's why. But the skink seems to be gone again. It's probably sneaked off somewhere unreachable to die, and I won't know where until the smell starts.
Somehow Bell-Men seems a lot less interesting than my own life at the moment.