I won't change for you, editor

I got a story back (FINALLY) this morning, and I did a little tinkering with it and it's ready to send out again. It's a strange little quirky thing, not quite fantasy, not quite SF, and too long for the flash fiction markets. And because I have so many freaking stories out right now, the list of markets I can sub this one to is even narrower. So I've been looking at small online zines I've never really considered before.

And here's the deal. I, the author, will rewrite to suit no matter how freaking STUPID I think your suggestion is. I am not proud. I will go so far as to change the entire meaning of the story if you think it's necessary. And I will adapt my formatting to suit your weird-ass submission requirements--UNLESS you want me to put my paragraphs into block form, without indentions and with two hard returns between paragraphs. This, I will not do. There is some shit I will not eat.

Dare I say, it's only the clueless noobs that ask for that format. I saw one market that claimed it was standard formatting for online submissions, which is news to me. Look, I know it's not all that hard to do in Word, if you know what you're doing, but my laptop is Linux-based and Open Office (at least my version of it) will not let me search and replace by formatting. I am not going to manually go through and delete tab indents and put in hard returns just because you, editor, are too farking lazy (or incompetent) to reformat the four stories you epub a year. Not for five bucks or half a cent a word.

No, this is not directed at any one market. It's directed to all of you and you know who you are.