Watching the Oscars. Wall-E just won the Best Animated Feature Film, which should have gone to Kung Fu Panda. But Kung Fu Panda swept the Annies. So that's okay.
Anyway, Mom and I have decided they need to change the Oscars next year. Next year, they should hire an actual comedian to open the event. I nominate Steve Martin, who is always funny, except in the embarrassingly bad Pink Panther remakes.
Also, next year, they shouldn't let anyone give speeches. Women can go up, collect their statuette, and say, "Thank you." Then they turn around once so everyone can see their dresses, and that's it. Men aren't allowed to leave their seats because their clothes are boring or, if not boring, interestingly hideous. They'll get their statuettes sent to them backstage after the show.
If someone does start talking, instead of playing the music to drown them out, they should drag them offstage with a hook.