Thursday, April 12, 2012

Death and taxes

My to-do list today was long and grim. It started out TAXES and ended funeral home, where I collected Mom's ashes. If you opt not to get a swanky, expensive urn, they give you ashes in a cardboard box with a label gummed to the lid. The box is surprisingly heavy--or surprisingly light, whichever way you want to look at it.

In addition to TAXES and funeral home, neither of which were any fun (those were Mom's taxes, too; I did mine months ago), I called and canceled Mom's credit card, stopped by the utilities office to put the account in my name instead of hers, and got a cashier's check at the credit union to pay the funeral home. I also got my oil changed and bought a couple of books, which was less miserable. Still, not a good day today.

After all that, I felt I could safely pitch my diet out the window for tonight. I went out and bought a big slab of raspberry dark chocolate, and flowers for the dining room table. I've kept fresh flowers on that table since we moved in last fall, but I would have bought flowers tonight anyway. And since that cardboard box, which I've shoved onto the mantel for the time being, looks so bare and sad, I bought some white ribbon to tie around it. And I bought a pair of underwear because A) they had stars on them and I will buy anything with stars and/or daisies printed on it, and B) when I'm depressed I buy chocolate, and when I'm really depressed I buy linens (because nothing makes me feel better like a new nightgown and fresh new sheets; although I often buy nightclothes just for the hell of it, so anyone keeping track out there wouldn't necessarily be able to tell if I'm sad or just wanting a new set of pajamas). Anyway, when I checked out I realized with some embarrassment that with the flowers, chocolate, ribbon, and underwear, I looked like I was gearing up for a night. I wonder if the clerk is still wondering what I plan to do with the grapefruit juice I also bought.

There are still a few things on my list I didn't get to, but I figure I did pretty well today. These things have to be done. They're not pleasant, but they're all part and parcel of being connected with other people.


Paula RC said...

Hi K.C What a hard day you had... I just wish I could find the right words to say something light and breezy to carry you along the path you are walking. I love the idea of putting the white ribbon around the box. It's 12 years since I lost my Dad and I planted a rose in my garden. So each year I look foward to seeing the flowers. Nature is a wonderful and is always ready to lift our hearts when words are never enough.

I hope you have a better day today.

K.C. Shaw said...

I love the idea of planting a rose in memory. Last fall Mom wanted a gingko tree in the yard and was so pleased when I planted a good big one. Last month I was very happy to see it leaf out and turn green. I know it will remind me of her every year.

Cate Gardner said...

No one should have to diet on a day like that.

K.C. Shaw said...

That's what I think. Unfortunately, that seems to be how I think every day considering how little weight I've lost.