I've decided that yellow jacket stings are the perfect injury. I've got two, one on my left inner ankle and one on my right lower calf. Both have swelled prettily, although not so much that they look bizarre, and both itch and ache just enough that I can feel genuinely sorry for myself. Walking really does make the swelling and pain worse, which means I can lie in bed reading without feeling a bit guilty; but they don't interfere with normal activities to a great degree.
That means I can't go for a brisk two-mile walk tonight, and instead I have to lie around eating bridge mix and watching Outlaw Star. But I can definitely go see Weird Al Yankovic tomorrow night!