I got a haircut yesterday. I don't like it. I think it makes me look like someone named Crystal who lives in a trailer park and drinks too much on the weekends. She works at the Tyson Meat Packing plant and occasionally parties with her ex-husband, Darryl, but even though he wants to get back together with her, she likes being independent. Most of the time she hangs out with her best friends Sherri and Tina at the Lone Star Bar, playing pool, drinking, and flirting with the guys. Crystal especially likes karioki night. Sherri and Tina keep telling her she should try out for American Idol, but she can't afford the trip to Atlanta. Occasionally Crystal babysits for her niece Britney, who loves coming over because Aunt Crystal has the biggest collection of Avon products of anyone she knows, plus Crystal's as much fun as a big sister and they spend all day fixing each other's hair and watching soaps. Crystal did have a pet chihuahua with runny eyes, named Punkin, but it got run over--one of the things she doesn't like about living right off Highway 441. Crystal's mother lives in the double-wide next door and wants Crystal to give Darryl another chance; he's going places, now that he's an assistant manager at Wendy's.
Oh my gawd. All that from a haircut.