Friday, February 20, 2009

Yes. I suck.

I've finished the revisions for The Weredeer, or at least the first round of revisions. I changed and added so much to the first chapter that I thought the whole book would change the same way. Instead, except for breaking 13 chapters into 30 (which picked up the pace a lot) and adding paragraphs here and there, I didn't change that much.

I'm not sure if it's because the book is pretty good to begin with, or because I've read it too many times to be very objective, or if I am deluded and everything I write sucks and I am incapable of evaluating my lack of talent and skill. Anyway, I added several thousand words and the first chapter is a billion times better than it was. Most of what I added was description. I did some trimming too, but mostly I added.

Now I don't know what to do with it. I'm discouraged anyway, because I've received four agent rejections on The Taste of Magic already, and only one of those wanted to see a partial first. The rest were just rejections from my query and sample pages. I have five queries pending and a list of more that I can query if I need to. I just thought I'd get a little more response than I have. So once again, I assume that I am a terrible writer and I should just give up and spend my spare time playing video games.

And yet, I still send out queries. And I will continue to send out queries until I have queried every single agent out there who might conceivably be interested in my book. And if I run out of agents, I'll start querying publishers directly. It's a strange and terrible thing, being a writer.


Jamie Eyberg said...

I have read some of your short stories and there is no way you are a terrible writer. Some of it is the market right now. keep polishing and keep submitting and if you need a reader just let me know.

K.C. Shaw said...

Thanks, I really appreciate it. Hopefully things will start looking up soon.

Jeremy D Brooks said...

Yeah, weird friggin' way to make a living, ain't it? Seems like there's always enough rejection to go around, but I guess that makes the acceptances that much better.

Here's to hoping we've touched bottom of the economic swamp and are kicking our way back up.

Cate Gardner said...

Four agent queries is nothing - keep plugging away, Kate.

K.C. Shaw said...

Jeremy--geez, yes, I hope we're on the way up. And I hope on the way up people suddenly start buying scads more books, thus feeding all those publishers so they'll need to buy lots more manuscripts.

Cate--yeah, I guess so. And there are tons of good agents out there. I need to quit staying up late feeling sorry for myself.

Aaron Polson said...

Remember that piece you sold to Beneath Ceaseless Skies? ("Sand-Skin Man")

Yeah, well, I read that when I had the flu, felt like giving up on the world, and your story had me in tears--the good, "wow that was amazingly powerful" kind of tears.

You are a great writer. Keep at it.

K.C. Shaw said...

Wow. Thanks!

I mean, really. I can't think of anything else to say except thanks. You just made everything better, you know?